guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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