No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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