Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
