He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
