In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
