this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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