first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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