..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
