in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
there was a trapeze. enough said
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
