Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize