is wine microwaveable?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
