He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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