party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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