just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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