either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
