The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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