so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
