I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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