Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
