So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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