I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
