Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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