pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
