i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
