we made out on top of his cat.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
