Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
