he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
