I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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