Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
