no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
