What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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