i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just want to make out with him forever
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
