med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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