Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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