we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize