i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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