btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
