doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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