I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
