you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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