Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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