Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
