As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
