Your dad touched me again.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
ttyl tear gas
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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