I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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