I want to walk on stilts...naked
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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