My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
