can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
