She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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