just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
