how can u be prego again
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and she was petting her beer can
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
