This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
All I want is dick and wine.
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