oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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