Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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