do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
