the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
