i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Randomize
