You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
