your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
now i know why i became what i already was.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
