i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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