Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
