Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
