its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
