Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
