apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
