I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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