thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize