Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
